soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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