we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Who died my cat blue again?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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