I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
