I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it's like iHOP with fire
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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