How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Bring me that man meat
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
