Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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