Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
