You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
