is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
