She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
