Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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