dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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