My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
