Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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