He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
