Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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