So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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