Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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