I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
