...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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