I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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