why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize