I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
