you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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