is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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