like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
