you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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