Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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