I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
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You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
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I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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