Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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