We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
