one two three fourrrrnication!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
