Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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