Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
