u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
