I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
