i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
