I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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