I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
