EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Never joke about your clitoris.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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