yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji