Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
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she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
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Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction