While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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