sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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