If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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