I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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