never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i've created a new STD.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
