It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
