my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
