butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
