I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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