I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
