omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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