im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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