My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
