As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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