I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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