Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
