Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
